RA Paper A

Audience: Inactive Latter Day Saints who Suffer from depression

WATCO having high levels of religious activity on your depression

Enthymeme: Having high levels of religious activity lower the rate of depression in LDS members because it expands the understanding of purpose and direction in life.

My first paper was not well developed. I discovered while anaylizing it that I don't have many credible sources. The only credible sources I have are the Mental Health America which isn't very strong for our audience, and UCLA's Spirituality in Higher Education which does some justice but not a lot. I also used Gordon B. Hinckley as a credibility. But as I think about it, inactive LDS members aren't going to listen to what he says anyway. My credibility for this paper was not very strong because the sources I used didn't reach out to my audience very well. Maybe if I narrowed my audience some more to those who suffer from depression who are actively seeking for help and willing to change to be more happy, then my credibility would work.

The logic I use in my paper is weak. You are depressed because you go to church. If this is true, I need to have some strong background holding it up. It is very weak to make that assumption without something logical to back it up. If you don't go to church you will suffer from depression because you will feel bad for not doing something you know you should do. that is a better argument, I still think I can make it stronger. AS it sits now, the argument that not going to church makes you depressed because you don't understand your direction in life does not really make sense. I think a little more clarification could make this work.

I feel that the information I present is relevant. Yes this is how you can overcome depression. These are symptoms and feelings you will have from depression. However I think I could use these relevant topics and information to support my argument better. We know that depression can be caused by feelings of loneliness. Well, if you go to church, there are people there to talk to. Often times your ward really feels like aq second family to you. You can rely on others to help stay away from adicting substances like alcohol and drugs that also cause depression. When we learn to put our cares on our savior Jesus Christ and rely on his atonement, we can have peace of mind and be at one because going to church aligns our will with his will making us one with him. It is relevant, it just needs to be tied in better.

I feel that my argument initially wasn't effective because it lacked conciseness, narrowed audience, and beter logic, but I think that it can all become a powerful apper if I chaqnge these things. If I narrow my audience I can make more bold decisions on what aspects I want to approach and support. My relevant information will become more important as I tie it into the paper better.